Yesterday, two friends of my late father hosted an event in his memory and gave us the surprise of a lifetime. This was the inaugural event as it was announced during the tournament that we had planned to host it every year onwards on the first Friday of May going forward. I heard lots of stories about my dad, met a lot of people that he impacted during the course of his life and the game of golf, and celebrated the lives of a man we all love and miss. As it would be also realized by those in attendance, following my dad's passing.
The inaugural turnout was predicted to be about 80 golfers over 18 holes which would have been foursomes. The tally to start the day was 77 golfers. 73 men and 4 women played the Youghigheny Country Club course in memory of my dad, who most likely smiled from above. The day started off with a speech by one of the organizers of the event who shared that my dad impacted him in a way no one else has. My dad was one of a kind in his mind, he could easily relate to anyone on any topic (music, movies, sports, politics, etc) whether that person was "forty years younger than him, or forty years older, which is quite old". He also made it known that there was no one else who he would want to spend time organizing this type of event in memory of. Another friend of my dad's spoke for a little bit and he introduced the final speaker who was Father Paul. Father Paul is the president of St. Vincent College and is the chaplain of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He shared a story of attending a game last season on November 19, 2023 against the Cleveland Browns. Prior to the game in the locker room, he prayed for my dad during the Steelers team prayer. After the game was over, he returned on the team bus from Cleveland to Acrisure Stadium (Heinz Field), and came to the hospital. He prayed over my dad and provided him last rites before hugging my mom and I and telling us he would continue to pray for us. My dad's name was written on the board for the monks at St. Vincent College to pray over.
Before the tournament did officially start, my mom sang the national anthem and those in attendance realized two things: firstly, my mom is a gifted singer, but secondly, they realized why I have to ask for something to be repeated often, because growing up with someone who can sing like my mom, also meant having some amount of hearing loss. The club pro went over the course and hole set ups and also enforced my dad's favorite rule of golf: pace of play. One of those stories from pace of play came last season when my dad and his friends were behind a group of women. The group of women accused my dad and his friends of "hitting into them", which was not the case, but my dad did strike back with "well if you weren't taking your time, that alleged thing wouldn't have allegedly happened". Not known for his spice, one of the women asked who was behind them, and when they found out they asked "is that Little Jimmy Boughner", now my dad was 64 years old at that time so he wasn't quite Little, but the woman was much older than he was. She was so distraught that she didn't finish her match, and later ended up quitting the country club over that encounter on the course. My dad had two nicknames and a rap song come from that encounter: Little Jimmy, L.J.B. and a rap song that went "My name is LJB, don't you mess with me, you are gonna end up like that lady B Lee". Remember these nicknames for the final photo on this blog. It was a great surprise for us as well, so it is worth the wait here too.
The outing was played in a "best ball" format to speed things up. Best ball means that on the team (foursomes split into two teams of two players) whichever player has the best drive, that is the spot where the next shot is played from, and so on. The score of the hole is decided by which team has fewest shots. i am not sure who actaully won the event this year, but there were cash prizes for top three lowest scores. There were also prizes done by way of random selection by placing tickets into baskets. The prizes up for grabs there were 4 tickets to a Civic Light Opera show and an overnight at a local luxury hotel, an autographed Neil Walker baseball bat, four tickets to a Pirate game, or two tickets to a future steelers game. There were also prizes for those who had the highest scores. In that case, those players received a free box of golf balls so that they could practice their game for next season's event.
I managed to learn some stories about my dad while on the course. People who met him a few times talked about how kind he was to them. Guys who knew him all their lives told some historic stories about him. Family shared what it was like growing up with him and the game of golf. Here's a few of them:
Someone who had just met my dad for the first time and was playing golf with him, shared my dad was a huge fan of the rules of golf which in this person's opinion, made my dad seem a little geeky. That was one adjective to describe him. Later that day, this storyteller shared he saw my dad smoke a cigar from the wrong side. This player was so impacted, that he came out to this tournament to play in his memory.
A good friend of my dad shared with me how during the front nine of their playing days, they would listen to old rock which my dad loved, but then for some culture, they would play newer hip hop music for the back nine of the course and shock my dad that this music was actaully able to be legally played on the radio. They did this to hear him laugh and to hear his sarcasm.
My cousin Carl shared with my cousin Blake, a family friend I refer to as Uncle Ken, and I, a story about when he was younger, the family house was behind Hole No. 11. He shares this story of going up on the golf course with my grandfather Boughner one evening to walk one of the dogs on the course and when he got to Hole No. 12 he shared with Carl "Son, you and I would play this hole aiming for the fairway in front of us and then once we get down there, we will use our second shot to get onto the green. Your uncle Jimmy, he just hits it right over the trees to the right and onto the green". The hole is set up in a way that you cannot see the green from the tee. The green is a hypotenuse of a triangle from the tee hidden by some trees.
A final tale, is more so my dad's golfing strategy which angered a lot of golfers going against him. They couldn't make any mistakes, because my dad never made any. He would always drive the ball down the center of the fairway, if he didn't get on the green in one shot, he got on with the second, and then he would two putt the hole and move on. He was a very consistent golfer. He didn't make mistakes and relied on those playing against him to make mistakes. They knew he didn't make mistakes and hit it straight down the fairway everytime. It is one of the reasons why my dad was an eight time Youghigheny Country Club Champion and a one time Senior Club Champion. He is the reigning title holder.
I didn't get any golf lessons from my dad. He tried everything. He always would share that I had a beautiful swing, but when I would try to hit the ball, I would fail miserably. During the event, I tried taking some swings but missed the ball entirely much to the surprise and shock of my family members who partook. I did putt on the extremely quick greens twice, and two putted the first time, following in his footsteps. The second time was a long putt, that if it would have hit the flag pole, it would have gone in. Needless to say, I need some practicing and I will have a year to practice for the next event. I would love to continue my dad's legacy someday at the country club.
As summed up by a friend of my dad's, this was a beautiful event and show of sportsmanship, but for a terrible reason to all have to gather in the memory of someone we loved and missed. As I have said from the start of all of this, I knew my dad likely wouldn't make it when he was in the hospital, but I was okay with the outcome. It sucks. Every day since has sucked without him. For all of us who knew him, loved him, and those who played and worked with him, it sucks for all of us. I never denied it. I bargained with some of the reasons, the things we knew, and didn't and the timeline, but ultimately I accepted it. It's an unfortunate realty of our lives. None of us get out of this life experience alive. We are born, we live our lives, and then we are reunited with our loved ones who are no longer with us. My dad lived his life to the fullest every day. He worked hard, loved his family and friends, and loved the game of golf. This tournament showed my mom and I how truly blessed we are. My dad impacted so many people in his life, and that was evidenced by those who came out to play his favorite game, on his home course, in his honor.
It is also evidenced by this gorgeous memorial at the first tee at Youghigheny Country Club installed by one of my dad's dearest golf friends Mark Torgent. The photos are incredible. Showing my dad getting tossed into the country club pool after winning the club championship for the eighth time. Getting tossed into the swimming pool fully clothed is a country club tradition for the winner of the club championship. My dad with his championship belt that became a tradition with his close friends of whoever won, would get to keep the WWE championship belt. Finally included was a photo of his phone, glasses, and phone cord, which he could never find and always had a hard time keeping track of. Every golfer who plays this course from Friday, May 3, 2024, onward into the future will have the opportunity to pay their respects to Jimmy B. For it was his love of the game, that inspired others to show up, and share their love and memories of him.
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