After my dad’s passing, we began having hints from above that someone was watching over us. Whoever, you as the reader believes in, I wanted to give my own perspective as a Christian that God and my dad, are sending us messages daily. We recently hosted a memorial golf tournament in his honor. At the end of the tournament I was talking with a friend of his, and when I looked at my phone after the discussion, there was a memory. It was this photo of my dad with the friend I was just talking too. I don’t believe in coincidences and after this post, neither should the reader. There are lots of examples of these subtle messages from above.
My mom embarked on a trip to France that she was full of nerves about leaving her beloved dog Augusta and son behind, to go for two weeks away. She ended up going after setting out great instructions for caring for the dog and the house. On her trip, she received a message from above. One of the people on the trip is a hospice chaplain. She shared perspective with my mom about loving my father and grieving his absence. My mom wrote to me "There is a woman on our trip who is a hospice chaplain and she's been talking to me a lot. She said 'I want you to remember that you will feel that you didn't have enough time with him, right? We always want more time. But think about all of the more time you already had becasue everyday of your life is more time'". She also shared with my mom to continue to cry anytime she needs. I told my mom after she shared that with me: "The chaplain with you, is a sign from God".
"As I grow older, my life is filled with more moments of joy even when I am in deep pain I can rescue myself by noticing small beautiful things. A golden leaf turning into a cob web or the smell of a gardenia stops me in my tracks. Heaven is all around me, just waiting for me to notice" - Mary Pipher
During her trip, she was in a town taking a walking tour. A town she has never been to, no less. She sent me a photo of a store they passed during their tour. I had goosebumps instantly and knew it was a subtle message from above about her taking her trip without regrets. She was nervous to leave the dog and I. She was nervous about taking this trip. It was the first time she would be away for an extended period of time since my dad passed.
The store was called Augusta. The same name of our dog. If this isn't a sign that he is with us, I don't know what is. A few things: my mom interprets this as my dad guiding her through life, they didn't have to take the route they did and pass this store, but they did. In my interpretation, what are the odds here. This is a town my mom has never been to before and didn't know the stores prior to visiting. Walking past this store and having the realization that she was staring at the name of her pup. I viewed it as a sign from my dad instantly that she could have Augusta both on the trip and Augusta would be waiting for her when she returned.
In this journey since the day my dad got into the hospital has been full of these subtle messages from above or the proof that there are no such things as coincidences. At the hospital, the palliative care doctor was both an Ohio State graduate and shared the name of my favorite childhood NASCAR driver: Dr. Jeff Gordon. There are many signs of this in our journey. A doctor on his team was a University of Michigan graduate. My cousin Carl also is a University of Michigan graduate, and a good friend of mine who I work with is also a University of Michigan graduate. These three men, are all doctors. As much as we despise Michigan football being huge Ohio State fans, how was it that we were surrounded by three people in this journey that were all doctors from one single school. More recently during the memorial golf tournament, Carl shared he had hit a first drive poorly on the first tee. He went and retrieved a ball from my dad's golf bag and his next shot was right down the middle. Coincidences, I think not.
For part of her trip, I have been staying with Augusta (the beloved dog) at the house. Staying at the house alone is weird. Just being here with the dog without him is weird. The house is empty. At times, I haven't felt like I am at the family home. This, in my belief, is a message from above. For my own grieving process, I need to get used to the feeling at home, in the hoouse I grew up in, despite my father not being physically here. He is here spiritually, but no longer physically. The times that I have been here in the past when him and I would take turns watching the dog. I would watch her on my off days and he would be at work. He would come home around 6:00pm and relieve me. We would talk, have dinner together, and then go to the golf course to take her for a walk together. I am waiting for him to come home at 6pm some evenings I have been here this week, and it is an adjustment that he isn't coming home.
Cardinals and Owls:
It has been a belief of ours and lately our friends that seeing cardinals are our loved ones checking in on us. Here are some examples of cardinals showing up for us:
I attended a University of Pittsburgh basketball game vs Duke at night one evening by myself to honor my dad and my Uncle Tom. The next day while on a hike, two cardinals flew by me. I would like to think this was both my dad and my uncle Tom telling me they were proud of me for going out amidst my sorrow to a sporting event.
My mom walks the bike trail often with Augusta. She sees cardinals all the time. One of the times she saw two cardinals. A male and female. The male kissed the female cardinal in front of my mom. She felt a tingle throughout her body. She believed this symbolized my dad giving her a kiss from heaven.
When picking up my aunt from her apartment building for Easter dinner, my cousin texted my mom and I and said "I saw a cardinal while picking up our family member today, this might be Uncle Jim checking on us".
During the golf outing, a friend of my dad's shared a story of a cardinal flying through the golf cart they were seated in. This brought shock to him, but he quickly refocused and said aloud: Jimmy is here with us.
There is another bird that has sent us messages since his passing: the owl. While on vacation in Shenandoah National Park last year, my mom and dad were walking Augusta and they came across two owls sitting on top of the pillars. My dad was so mesmerized by the two owls sitting on top of pillars who were not scared away by the predator dog. It was shared with us by a person who is able to connect through meditations with the deceased, that the feeling my dad had when he got to the gates of heaven, was the same feeling he had seeing those two owls. The amazement, the mesmerization, and the awe. This story is both emotional and meaningful for my mom and I.
A favorite musical of our family's has always been Wicked. There is a song in the show called "For Good" that has a line about "people come into our lives for a reason". Having these subtle messages from above and the people we are meeting daily are showing us lessons we learn from their presences. It is our job to figure out what lessons God (or any higher power) is trying to teach us. An ex-girlfriend or ex-partner may have been there to teach us patience and that we cannot change someone. A toxic friendship may teach us that we deserve better from those we surround ourselves with. A loved one who passes away teaches us to value the time we have and to live our lives every day to the fullest. A parent teaches us values and morals to live by. Someone we fall in love with teaches us what we deserve out of life and how we deserve to be loved.
In my dad's case, he was in my life to teach me how to live my life to the fullest and respect others a long the way. For my dad's friends, he was there to be with them and to teach them lessons from his years. He was there to relate to them on many topics of conversations and to share in many rounds of golf. For my mom, I believe he was here to teach her everything about true love, and to live her life to the fullest. Because we knew my dad, our lives have forever been impacted and changed for good.
Comments